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A wife and Husband are having dinner sitting in a small corner booth in a high end steak restaurant outside of Columbus Ohio when the husband describes an observation he made earlier in the day.
HUSBAND
(Leaning forward.)
This girl at Starbucks…she must have been twenty. She put both hands down beneath her short workout shorts, very thin workout shorts… plucked at both sides of her underpants and pulled them down to cover her butt cheeks…right in front of me and everyone. I was six feet away.
WIFE
And tell me why were you watching?
HUSBAND
I sit right where the line forms to order…in the soft chairs. I looked up and there she was… pulling down her panties.
WIFE
Should I order you to sit facing the wall next time you go? I thought you went there to write not gaze at woman’s butts.
HUSBAND
I know. If that’s an order you know I’ll do it.
WIFE
Yes. You will.
HUSBAND
But I like those soft chairs where the line forms.
WIFE
I knew there was more to your Starbucks visits than writing paragraphs.
HUSBAND
The occasional harmless observation … that’s all.
WIFE
And the discomfort…
HUSBAND
What?
WIFE
The discomfort women endure to be beautiful.
HUSBAND
(Questioning.)
She wasn’t that beautiful. What’s that got…?
WIFE
Beautiful enough to engage you in a little moment of… what?
HUSBAND
Amusement. Nothing more.
WIFE
Panties creeping into your butt crack is annoying.
HUSBAND
I wouldn’t…
WIFE
You wouldn’t know? Imagine if…
HUSBAND
What?
WIFE
If… I ordered you to send me a text every time a woman’s butt caught your attention. How many texts would I get?
HUSBAND
When I was at Starbucks?
WIFE
No. Anywhere. Anytime. When you were out. How many texts would I get a day?
HUSBAND
Depends on where I was.
WIFE
A normal day at the office and out to lunch. How many butt texts would I get?
HUSBAND
I don’t know. Maybe 10 or 15 if I was out walking at lunch in the Short North area.
WIFE
Every hour?
HUSBAND
Hah…well yes there are a lot of attractive women there.
WIFE
So I get the real reason you like that Starbucks in Short North.
HUSBAND
No. I like the energy…but I enjoy a good-looking woman. It’s a natural reaction.
WIFE
Her butt.
HUSBAND
Should we be having this conversation?
WIFE
You started it.
HUSBAND
It was a funny moment…young woman fixing her panties in Starbucks.
WIFE
I’m not fond of you looking at women’s butts. I don’t share your cuckold fantasy. For me…you sexualizing other woman is offensive. But you brought it up.
HUSBAND
I’m sorry. I should have known.
WIFE
Yes. You should have almanbahis known. You need to remember your balls are mine darling.
HUSBAND
All yours. It was nothing. That’s why I told you.
WIFE
It wasn’t nothing. That’s why you told me.
HUSBAND
What?
WIFE
You know I get insecure at that kind of thing…yet you brought it up.
HUSBAND
I forgot. I thought you were over that. I’m telling you it was meaningless.
WIFE
When you bring something up like it means something. You don’t get to mention how much you love admiring a woman’s butt while you’re out alone and not have some kind of consequence.
HUSBAND
What kind of consequence?
WIFE
I don’t know. Fifteen times a day is a whole lot of butt watching.
HUSBAND
It’s not sweetheart. That’s like maybe 30 seconds of my day.
WIFE
It’s more..I’m sure it’s more.
HUSBAND
Okay. But not much more.
WIFE
(Her anger escalates.)
It’s humiliating…. You’re moving me out of your life. You’ve got this secret butt watching….
HUSBAND
I was wrong to bring it up. I’m sorry. But there’s no need…it’s nothing. It’s your pride that’s hurt.
WIFE
I should leave you.
HUSBAND
(Shocked.)
Come on. Come on. Don’t be like that.
WIFE
(Firm.)
That’s where it takes me…your little butt watching story takes me there…
HUSBAND
Come on it’s nothing. Here take … my hand.
WIFE
No. No. I don’t want to touch you.
HUSBAND
It’s nothing. It’s instinct, it’s a brief journey of my eyes traveling to a woman’s butt.
WIFE
I’m not you. You like humiliation. I don’t. I hate it. You’ve humiliated me.
HUSBAND
No. I have not. You’re taking this personally.
WIFE
It’s how I feel.
HUSBAND
But I’m not humiliating you. It’s a tiny set of moments.
WIFE
I’m imaging how I’d feel…how I’d feel if at the end of a week if I had 100 butt texts from you…there’s nothing tiny about that.
HUSBAND
The way you put it… that’s making more of it. I love you. I adore you.
WIFE
How is it you adore me when you’re ogling wo…
HUSBAND
Stop. Stop. It’s nothing.
Why can’t you just be amused.
WIFE
Oh.
HUSBAND
Yes…so…yes I notice women’s butts…I look but for the last ten years yours is the only one that matters.
WIFE
Clearly not. You say that. It doesn’t change how I feel.
HUSBAND
That’s not fair.
WIFE
It’s how I feel.
HUSBAND
How?
WIFE
Humiliated.
HUSBAND
Angry?
WIFE
Yes. 98 on a scale of 0-100.
HUSBAND
You hold on to it. You want to punish me.
WIFE
(Feeling lighter now.)
Yep. I like it. It frees me.
HUSBAND
What?
WIFE
It helps me almanbahis giriş realize how deep my expectations of you run. How I expect you to be perfect.
HUSBAND
I want to be perfect for you.
WIFE
You’re not. You like to think all the kneeling, and obedience and the “yes Mistress” stuff you do is aiming to make you into the perfect man. It’s a scheme. A self centered game you’ve roped me into.
HUSBAND
That hurts.
WIFE
Hah…that’s your pride isn’t it?
HUSBAND
I want to be everything to you. Nothing less.
WIFE
You’ll never be everything to me isn’t that the point of your cuckold fantasy?
HUSBAND
Well…yes.
WIFE
That I have a relationship with Edward because he enjoys seafood and you don’t?
HUSBAND
Yes, but even there …
WIFE
Even there?
HUSBAND
I don’t think anger frees. It constricts.
WIFE
No. It’s the opposite. It frees me from all this fake stuff you make up.
HUSBAND
It’s not fake. I want you free…I want to serve….
WIFE
At the moment I feel free from the “I shouldn’t be angry if my husband has eyes for another woman’s butt,…” thing I tell myself. After all…I’ve enjoyed Edward’s penis.
HUSBAND
Yes. You have. Without anger.
WIFE
No there’s always some anger at you when I go out with him.
Husband
Why?
WIFE
I need it. Because you let. Normal men don’t let there wives go…Because It frees me to enjoy him. I’m not… worried …I’m not false.
HUSBAND
I don’t think you’re false.
WIFE
You have this need to submit.
HUSBAND
I like to submit to you. Yes. Doesn’t that help…
free you?
WIFE
No. The anger does.
HUSBAND
The anger?
WIFE
It creates a haven in me, helps me know what I want…get clear without all the clutter about what you want or what anyone wants, my father, my sisters, our kids, my co-workers. It frees me.
HUSBAND
Then that’s good.
WIFE
Maybe.
HUSBAND
I want you free.
WIFE
You say that but when I am…I’m not thinking of you.
HUSBAND
Well I want that. I want you to feel separate, free to enjoy another Edward, free to tell me what you want, to separate…that’s a big part of the cuckold play.
WIFE
You inspire my anger to help me get real?
HUSBAND
I want you real. Authentic.
WIFE
Edward makes it real. He helps me lose you. He takes me and I like that.
HUSBAND
How does he do that?
WIFE
He’s real. He’s not wanting to get on his knees or buy me 17 pink roses.
HUSBAND
But that’s the…
WIFE
Game.
HUSBAND
That we play together…the play is false of course. The love, the joy is the experience we share together.
WIFE
Yes.
HUSBAND
Yes. almanbahis yeni giriş Yes. Say that again. It is a joy. The joy is the point.
WIFE
Your butt watching isn’t a joy.
HUSBAND
No. I know. I’m sorry.
WIFE
But you’re not really. You’ll be doing it again next Saturday when I’m out of town.
HUSBAND
It’s harmless.
WIFE
It dismisses me.
HUSBAND
It’s got nothing to do with you.
WIFE
Like me parting my legs for Edward has nothing to do with you? You miss my point.
HUSBAND
What?
WIFE
What you ask of me is contrived. What you do is real. What you pretend to want is for me to break away from you. But really you want a little show and for me to stay close.
HUSBAND
I want to go all the way.
WIFE
Let’s try. Let’s see. I’ll go further.
HUSBAND
Yes.
WIFE
How about right now?
HUSBAND
Okay.
WIFE
Get down on the ground underneath the table and kiss my foot. Stick your handsome butt up in the air.
HUSBAND
Here?
WIFE
Yes. Here. You like humiliation get down under the table and kiss my foot.
HUSBAND
(Reluctantly.)
Okay.
WIFE
(Leaning down to speak to him.)
Good boy. Stick your butt out.
HUSBAND
(On his hands and knees beneath the table begins kissing his wife’s foot.)
Yes. Yes.
WIFE
(Dialing her phone.)
I’m calling Edward.
HUSBAND
Yes.
WIFE
(Speaking on the phone.)
Hi. It’s me. I know. I was thinking tonight we could do the overnight you’ve been pestering me to do.
HUSBAND
(Whispering.)
Mistress?
WIFE
(Speaking on the phone.)
Tonight. But I need you to pick me up at the Maplewood Grill as soon as you can. I’ll tell you the story later. Can you do that?
HUSBAND
(Urgent whisper.)
Mistress?
WIFE
Good. We’re at a table in the small room off the bar.
WIFE
Yes he’s with me… on his knees…yes, under the table kissing my foot. Okay. Hurry. Don’t keep me waiting.
HUSBAND
(Whispering.)
Mistress?
WIFE
(Ignoring her husband looking at her phone.)
HUSBAND
(Urgently.)
Mistress? Please.
WIFE
No. Stay there. Edwards’s on his way.
(Edward arrives. Wife stands and gives him a hug.)
EDWARD
Has he been been bad?
WIFE
Yes. I’m making him show off his cute butt.
EDWARD
I see that. Are you ready?
WIFE
(To her husband who remains on all fours under the table his butt sticking out.)
I’m leaving with Edward. We’re spending the night together. Stay there for five minutes…
SERVER
(A SERVER steps near.)
Ma’am is everything okay?
WIFE
Yes. My husband’s had a panic attack. It helps him if he takes some deep breaths on his hands and knees. When he’s okay he’ll pay the bill. Give him five minutes.
HUSBAND
I’m okay.
WIFE
(In front of EDWARD and The SERVER.)
No you’re not. Stay there. Breathe.
WIFE
(To The SERVER.)
He’ll pay.
(To EDWARD)
Let’s go.
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